Saturday, April 19, 2025

We recently launched so if you see any technical glitches please email us at: [email protected]

DONATE
Marriage
Ganga Devi Dulal
Ganga Devi Dulal

“I was 13 years old when I got married. How do I tell you the story? Well…of course they came to ask for my hand. That was the tradition. No one eloped back then. It was the month of Magh (Nepali calendar). My husband and his elder brother came from Lamitar [Samtse district, Bhutan] with the marriage proposal. I used to live in Kalimgpong, which is now in India. It was an 18-mile walk from Lamitar to Bakhrakot in India. From there, a two-hour ride took you to Kalimpong. It was another 2-3 hour uphill hike to our house from the bus stop. I was the third eldest daughter. My second eldest sister, Tika, was married to a Dahal in the same village. That’s how my husband’s family heard about me. I had never seen the groom before. How could I? In that time period, Bhutan was so far away from Kalimpong. I guess one interesting fact is that one of my brothers, Nanda Lal, and I got married on the same day. His wedding was fixed before mine. Coincidentally, the saahit (auspicious day & time) fell on the same day for both of our weddings. Back then, the groom’s procession used to come to the girl’s house at night. So, my brother’s procession left our house in the morning to reach his bride’s home by nightfall. My groom’s procession arrived at our house on the same night. Next morning, my brother’s procession returned while mine left with me. The journey from Bhutan to Kalimpong was long and exhausting. So, the groom’s traveling party arrived a few days before the wedding. They stayed at a Chettri’s house nearby. For the sake of wedding customs, it was considered the house of the groom. To complete the rituals, I was taken to that house after the wedding ceremony finished at my house. My parents and my in-laws decided I was too young to make the difficult journey to Bhutan then. They decided to take me to Bhutan after a year. Before leaving, my in-laws told me to learn household chores properly. What could I say? I nodded and that was that. I cannot remember any further details about that day. I am almost 90 years old. It has all faded away with time.”

__
Ganga Devi Dulal, 87, is originally from Samchi, Bhutan and based in Springfield, Massachusetts at the time when this story was compiled.

Story and Photo compilation by Biraj Adhikari for BNS.

More Stories

“I had just returned home in the evening after hoeing the corn field all day. ‘Parents have given you away!’ screamed my younger brother. Apparently, a family from Khorsane gaun (village) in Chirang district in Bhutan had visited my house earlier to ask my hand for marriage. An astrologer had come along with them. The astrologer checked our horoscope compatibility, and he immediately slated the wedding date for two weeks later. That's how jodis (matches) were made back then. I was just 14 years old. Two of my slightly older friends were wedded a few months ago. I had a suspicion that I could be next in line. But I did not think it would be that soon. I...
Read more

“What do I remember about my wedding? Hmm… not sure you will get much of an interesting story out of me. My marriage followed a similar procedure as did the other marriages in Bhutan. I was about 10 years old when I got married and my wife was nine. You look surprised but this is just how it was in Bhutan. Whenever your parents felt you were ready, they would have a lady (or a gentleman) already chosen and permitted to be married to you. I know a few couples who got married at even younger ages than me. I remember I awoke with the sun on the day of my wedding as I was to be prepared as...
Read more

“I should have been 9-10 years old when I first got married in Dallayni, under Chirang district in Bhutan. I don’t recall much from my wedding day. I vividly recall though that I was scared. I did not know what marriage meant then. I wanted to continue to stay at my parents’ house. My first husband was from a big family. We lived together for 6-7 years before I eloped with another man, my current husband. My mother started disliking my first husband after we were a few years into our marriage. I think my mother knew that I was working too hard to take care of chores, even those that I was not capable of doing it, at...
Read more

“I was 27 years old at that time and she was 23. I was working as a peon in her village called Purano Basti in Sarbang, Bhutan. I was from Toribari which was 15 kilometers from her village. But I used to live in her village for my job. Actually, I had worked as a peon for five years and seven months in Bhutan. Initially I was paid Rupees130 per month. I was assigned to many villages like Bhur, Norbuling, Naya Basti, Lalai, among others. The roads were rough and not easy to travel. I used to pedal a bicycle for 2-3 hours to reach those villages and deliver mail. Although I was living in her village we didn't...
Read more

“I think I was 20-22 years old when I got married. Although my marriage is both special and unique, many others may not believe it. One day, I had spent all my morning chores working in my crop-land, and I returned home drained looking to eat lunch. Januka, 16-year-old then, had come to my house with a firm proposal to marry me. Indeed it was her second marriage. I was single. Januka told me that her mother wanted her to leave her other husband, a gentleman with the last name ‘Siwa.’ I do not want to disclose too much details about him. I learned that Januka’s mother recommended that she leave that ‘Siwa’ and elope with me. She ...
Read more

"I do not remember much of my marriage. I was just seven when my father decided about my marriage. It was the prevailing custom. I did not know what was forthcoming. At the age of playing with mud and sticks and with goats, I and two of my cousins got married. I was born in Goshi. After marriage we were taken to Deurali, a small cluster of houses at higher elevation than Goshi. Even though marriage occurred at seven, I was actually taken to my future home at age 13. It was a matter of shame for us to look at the groom’s face, so I didn’t even know what he looked like. My cousins and I were married...
Read more

“I was twenty-four and my wife was sixteen when we got married. My wife and I lived in the same village block called Patale in Bhutan’s Chirang district. Our houses were close to each other. I frequented her home and she mine, and so did our families. There was nothing special about our interactions -- it was always platonic. This continued for the next two or three years. We never thought anything would change. One typical day the possibility of us getting married was brought forth to us. My mother died when I was only three-years-old. I didn’t have brothers or sisters. I grew up an orphan. After seeing my struggles, my now-in-laws suggested that I marry their daughter....
Read more

“म डेढ वर्षको हुँदै बाबा बेपत्ता हुनुभएकोले एक्ली आमाले हुर्काएको कान्छो छोरो म । आज ६५ वर्ष पुग्दा पनि बाबाको कतै दिसोपत्तो लागेन-सम्झिँदा खल्लो लाग्छ । अनि बिहेको कुरा गर्दा आफैंलाई तन्देरी जस्तो पनि लाग्छ ! मेरो विवाह, म अंग्रेजीको साल जान्दिनँ, नेपालीकै संवत पनि थाहा छैन ! तर, म अठाह्र वर्षको थिएँ । त्यो बेलाको समय; अठाह्र वर्षसम्म बिहे नहुनु भनेको फल नदिने ठिमाहा अन्न फुलेर सुक्नु जस्तै थियो । हाम्रो गाउँभन्दा पारी म्योना ब्लक, पुङ्था भन्ने गाउँमा कुवीरलाल रेग्मी निकै नाम चलेका ‘महाजन’ हुनुहुन्थ्यो ! आफ्ना बाबा नभएकाले गाउँकै आफन्तहरुले मागी दिएर उहाँकी छोरी अन्तरी मैले बिहे गरेको हुँ । आजसम्म हामी सुख र आनन्दले साथमा जिएका छौं । हाम्रा चारजना सन्तान छन्, दुइ छोरी र दुइ...
Read more

“My first wife was from a place called Fulbari in Assam, India. We were of the same caste:Jogi. I was 18-19 years at that time. It was an arranged marriage. I had four kids, two girls and two boys from her. At the time I used to work as an assistant at a pesticide distributor. One day I had to go to the capital Thimphu. I took my then wife and three kids along with me. One of the girls, Gita, was staying with her grandma. I can’t exactly remember much about it but on the way, I lost my cognitive ability. I have no memory of that ordeal. After that somebody found me and brought me home but...
Read more

© Copyright - Bhutan News Service. 2004-2025